Monday, June 7, 2010

Critical guidelines for a Critic!

Well we all might have heard about that saying on critics – if you cannot do it then teach. If you cannot teach it then criticize! Critics are not rare but are everywhere. Thanks to their omnipresence, Karan Johar was forced to admit in an interview that he hardly finds audience for a movie now, what he finds always are critics. I have to agree with the chap once here (even if I find it hard to digest his cloying melodramas). We have so many critics around, ready to share a piece of their mind on the first given opportunity. Some of them might have a few valid points to make but most of them are not even as intelligent as my milkman, who by the way always miscalculates my monthly bill even after using a calculator.

Last week, I saw news about Ms Roy. A flashing breaking news sign on my TV screen attracted my attention on a Tuesday evening. With due respect to her, looks like, she went overboard with her romance with Naxalism and Maoism. Here are few of her quotes which I felt lacked both compassion and intelligence.

“"The Naxal movement could be nothing but an armed struggle. I am not supporting violence. But I am also completely against contemptuous atrocities-based political analysis"

"It ought to be an armed movement. Gandhian way of opposition needs an audience, which is absent here. People have debated long before choosing this form of struggle"

"I am on this side of line. I do not care...pick me up put me in jail"

Now, I am not a born critic, however, I cannot help but dissect these statements of hers. Probably this would help her understand what actually she has said.

Let’s look at the first one - “"The Naxal movement could be nothing but an armed struggle. I am not supporting violence. But I am also completely against contemptuous atrocities-based political analysis"

The first sentence starts with a conclusion. The Naxal movement, according to her, ought to be an armed struggle. Okay! That’s a point of view. She, like everybody else, has the right to have her view. But in the second sentence following that she states that she doesn’t support violence. Well, logically, if she thinks that Naxals have to use the arms to pursue their agenda then I fail to understand what is she is expecting them to do with the arms if not kill people? They were not defending themselves when they sabotaged that Mumbai bound train that killed more than 150 innocent people and when they blew up a bus carrying civilians, along with few army men! Now, by making these contrasting statements she conveyed the confusions of her twisted mind. Those men with arms are not mere actors of a bollywood movie; they are killing machines out there who have raged a war against the country. For her third sentence – I have only one thing. In India, many people/communities/regions/states have issues. If they all go by this philosophy, you will surely irritate some hardliner with your childish rants and would soon find your head on a chopping board!

Now, let’s look at the second statement - “"It ought to be an armed movement. Gandhian way of opposition needs an audience, which is absent here. People have debated long before choosing this form of struggle ".

The first sentence looks to be a repeat of the first sentence in the first statement just worded differently. She thinks Indians are not smart enough to understand that she is lacking thoughts and hence is coining different sentences to convey the same message! Anyway, let us focus on the last two sentences – “Gandhian way of opposition needs an audience, which is absent here. People have debated long before choosing this form of struggle.” Now did Gandhi ji have a ready audience, eagerly waiting to follow him, before he actually got the thoughts of non violence? Or was it the case that Gandhiji influenced millions of Indian, and foreigners alike, to adopt non violence? Ms Roy, audience is always there but it needs a leader to influence their psyche. Do not blame your incompetence to impart your point of view to their lack of presence. And who are these Maoist who debated these issues and with whom they debated? Do they really represent the masses? If yes then why they didn’t fight and win a single election thus becoming the change agent for the future of their people? That may be because they do not represent people.

The last statement of hers that I will look at is- "I am on this side of line. I do not care...pick me up put me in jail". No, we need people, whose wrong ways can be corrected to be in jail. And we certainly do not want somebody like you to be in jail and influence those established goons by your non Gandhian views so that they take up some armed struggle as soon as they come out of the jail and kill more innocent people. So my suggestion for the government is to deport you to Pakistan, where you will find many takers of your views!

I was forced to contemplate a checklist for all such self knighted critics. Here are the few guidelines:

a. If you have views then at least stick to it. If you support ways of Maoist then have the courage to brace the outcome of their actions also! You cannot just eat poison and wish away its harmful effect!

b. Chose your subject carefully. Do an IQ test to ascertain your intelligence level on a subject before you utter your grammatically correct yet disdainful illogical views! You may end up winning another bookers prize but you will not win hearts if you blatantly display your lack of empathy!

c. Do not live in Mumbai, Delhi, Kolkata or a Chennai and speak in a morally high tone at glittering forums. Instead go to the roots and help people uplift them! Help your education, understanding and compassion and make them see the correct path. Understand the issue from both the sides and stick to the Gandhian philosophy. After all that is more Indian then the AK-47 which are being used by your friends!

d. Be compassionate! Cry for those who lost their loved ones at the hands of stupid terrorists/maoist who didn’t even care (or had brains) to ascertain the track that the good train was going to use and ended up derailing a passenger train thus killing so many innocent people!

e. If this is all to enter politics, then there are brighter and righteous ways than just opposing whatever government does.

f. If you still cannot improve then you have two choices – relocate to China and hopefully you will adjust to their totalitarian approach (and I think you have already stretched the meaning of democracy to its limit) OR start commenting on Bollywood movies. They have so many critics so wouldn’t mind one more waste

Hope the sanity prevails and her made up socialism rests for few precious moments which can make her realize how badly she has hurt the sentiments of those who lost their family members in this not so holy war!!